he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
