im drinking this country out of the recession.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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