Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
