I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize