their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
