Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
