Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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