What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
