The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
