even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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