You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
