Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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