And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
