i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
