ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
