Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
