Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize