he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
