The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
