i permit you to call me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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