i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How does one acquire holy water?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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