hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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