You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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