fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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