I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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