There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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