i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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