I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
