I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
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Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
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You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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