around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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