Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
