i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
