Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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