Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
where does the pee come out of this thing
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
