Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
