oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
