If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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