This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
