It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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