I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize