I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
