I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
