Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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