my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize