'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he puts the penis in happiness.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
