Are we in a gay sports bar?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
