I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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