i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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