How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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