I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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