You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My boob is missing a layer of skin
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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