You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize