I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
