when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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