That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So. Much. Porn.
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