i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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