Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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