Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
