i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
