I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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